It's been a while since I felt like this. To feel so content with life, to feel at ease about it all. And all it took was a few days in another country.
I could go on for hours about all the amazing things that took place and even longer about the fantastic people I met who I magically became so close with in those very short days, but I'm not going to.
Instead, I'm going to talking about the realisations and decisions that have crossed my mind since then.
One of my biggest fears is losing people I care about, and it seems that without thinking, I started to push away the ones I love. Maybe it was so I wouldn't get hurt, or maybe it was for their good not mine, but whatever the reason, the outcome was a very lonely one.
With only 3 weeks of school left, and pretty much all of my friends moving away (or already living in different cities) I really want to make the most of what little time I have left with them. These are the people who have helped me get through these past 5 years in one piece, and I want to thank them, in some way or another.
"Forever alone" doesn't apply to me now, well at least I don't feel forever alone. After meeting some "good Lutheran boys" I don't feel so, hopeless any more. Like maybe, just maybe I will find someone I can call my best friend.
Just the other day I was asked what I looked for in a man. After thinking about it for a while, my kind of embarrassing rather long list from when I was a kid shrank into only a few.
Respectful, to others and myself.
I would really like him to be Christian.
Although a bit cliche, I have always wanted to fall in love with my best friend. Someone I can trust, who can make me laugh, who I can tell anything to.
And it must feel natural.
Don't do anything stupid, I have grown rather fond of you.
