Only a Memory

"I can't help but close my eyes for life
And dream a different ending
When I wake, I won't be so exhausted
And I will stop with my pretending
That I'm fine, I'm fine if I can fool myself tonight
And my lie will drown out all of yours

I will not bend until I break, how much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me, you're only a memory
I'll scream these words 'til they come true, then I will think no more of you
Look back on what I'm going through, this isn't my identity

You will bleed for what your hands have done
You can't outrun your ending
And I'll get well long before you let yourself
I may forgive you, but you never will

And I told you, I told you, you had no right
How damaged you must be
Watch you panic, it's tragic, you'll carry this for life
You have my sympathy
You're only a memory
This isn't my identity"

Have you ever found a song that seems to describe you/your life/how you feel almost perfectly? I have a few, the main one being "This is a Call" - Thousand Foot Krutch, and another one which I have just discovered is "Only a Memory" - Icon for Hire.

Tomorrow my youth group has planned a trip down to Wellington to see Parachute Band: Love Without Measure Tour (yay! and not so yay...)
Why not so yay? Because the venue is The Rock Church, which just so happens to be the church that Josh attends. It was actually at the Mumsdollar Farewell concert at his church that I first saw him (and possibly tripped him up while he was taking pictures, not on purpose though). I fear he may be there, and that I might see him or he might see me. Then I think, so what if I see him/he sees me! I doubt he would even recognise me. But I'm still scared. I'm scared that if I saw him, I would just break down.
It's funny though, kind of ironic too, it was at the last Parachute Band: Love Without Measure Tour that I finally brought myself to forgive him. It was then when I realised that I didn't want what happened to control my life, "this isn't my identity" "You're only a memory"

So here's to a brighter future and better memories. To good friends and good times. And to an amazing God! I would be nothing without Him.

PEACE OUT!